Between the gastric bypass surgery I had in 2003, the meds I'm taking that give me horrid dry mouth, my sleep apnea, and the fact that I'm a long-time mouth breather, my teeth are really starting to fall apart in my mouth. I bit down on a piece yesterday morning that broke off the back right upper molar that is falling apart at this time. I think most of what is left of that tooth is the filling. There's not much at all left of the teeth on the right side of my mouth, upper or lower, past the pre-molars. They've all broken off or been pulled. On the left it's a bit better, but not by much. I have one that had to be pulled, and I have one that is split but still all in my mouth. I feel it wiggling if I bite down just so or if I eat the wrong thing. I'm just waiting for it to fall out.
I see a dentist in St. Louis on February 27th to talk to him about IV sedation surgery to extract all my teeth and put in dentures. It's the only reasonable thing to do. I'm at risk for infection now; my teeth look awful and my breath stinks. It's not healthy and it looks and feels awful. I'm hoping it won't be long before it's done. I hate how it feels. We want to sell and move away from here but we can't do anything until the teeth are done because we need hubby's insurance to get them done. We sure can't afford to do it otherwise. Hopefully we can get it set up, they can do my impressions, and we can get this over with so I can get on with my life not feeling too self-conscious to smile because of my broken and rotting teeth.
I'm struggling this week with fatigue and not having the energy to exercise in spite of the fact that I know I need it. I just don't have any energy. It's pretty frustrating.
I don't want to be sick any more. I'm done.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Wednesday, February 08, 2012
Wednesday morning - day 2314
I have an interesting feeling this morning. It's like I can feel my hair coming out of my head. I don't know if that describes it correctly, but it feels literally like I am aware of each hair coming out of my scalp. It doesn't hurt - yet. It's rather a sensation I'm not familiar with; something new I'm not comfortable experiencing yet. It's probably just another manifestation of the nerve issues I'm so familiar with now.
On the 27th I see the dentist. This one does general anesthesia. I'm looking to get all my teeth pulled and have a full set of dentures. I have so many cavities it's awful and I can't tolerate the vibrating sensation of a rotating toothbrush. The meds I'm on cause extreme dry mouth, I'm a mouth breather by nature; and, combined with everything else, this has led to my teeth starting to break, chip and fall apart. The only solution other than paying for general anesthesia every 6 months or more often to get them cleaned and cared for once hubby retires next year is to have a mass extraction and have a set of dentures placed. I have to be realistic....we're not going to have the money to do that. I know keeping my own teeth is best but over half of the ones in my mouth need work, many of them major work, and it's not going to get any better. I might as well face it now and get it done while we still have insurance.
I'm dealing with some emotional stuff lately. Every once in a while things from the past come to the surface and I process them to the best of my ability. I think it only happens a bit at a time because I couldn't handle facing it all at once. There's just too much there to deal with in one lump. God is gracious that way - He gives me only what I can handle with His help. It's always been that way. He's always taken care of me. Even in the scary times He was there and he stayed my molester's hand when a certain point was reached....not that there wasn't damage done, but He only allowed so much and then He stopped the enemy from trying to destroy me. I am so grateful for His love and protection....there's no way to put it into words. I don't know what I'd do without Him.
I've gained back most of the weight I lost after my surgery. It's very discouraging. Between the meds, the forced reduction in activity due to intolerance, and stress, I just keep losing the fight with the food monster. It's hard not to eat bad stuff when I've coped this way all my life. It's not like drugs or booze where you can just stay away. You have to eat. And, once I start, it's hard for me to stop. It is my major coping mechanism. With all that's going on in the family, it's really hard for me to eat the right stuff. I guess I need to spend more time in prayer and on my face before God; I know if I can get past my fears and learned behaviors, and if I can trust in Him, I can take this weight back off. We did it together before, and we can do it again. I just need to remind myself of that.
On the 27th I see the dentist. This one does general anesthesia. I'm looking to get all my teeth pulled and have a full set of dentures. I have so many cavities it's awful and I can't tolerate the vibrating sensation of a rotating toothbrush. The meds I'm on cause extreme dry mouth, I'm a mouth breather by nature; and, combined with everything else, this has led to my teeth starting to break, chip and fall apart. The only solution other than paying for general anesthesia every 6 months or more often to get them cleaned and cared for once hubby retires next year is to have a mass extraction and have a set of dentures placed. I have to be realistic....we're not going to have the money to do that. I know keeping my own teeth is best but over half of the ones in my mouth need work, many of them major work, and it's not going to get any better. I might as well face it now and get it done while we still have insurance.
I'm dealing with some emotional stuff lately. Every once in a while things from the past come to the surface and I process them to the best of my ability. I think it only happens a bit at a time because I couldn't handle facing it all at once. There's just too much there to deal with in one lump. God is gracious that way - He gives me only what I can handle with His help. It's always been that way. He's always taken care of me. Even in the scary times He was there and he stayed my molester's hand when a certain point was reached....not that there wasn't damage done, but He only allowed so much and then He stopped the enemy from trying to destroy me. I am so grateful for His love and protection....there's no way to put it into words. I don't know what I'd do without Him.
I've gained back most of the weight I lost after my surgery. It's very discouraging. Between the meds, the forced reduction in activity due to intolerance, and stress, I just keep losing the fight with the food monster. It's hard not to eat bad stuff when I've coped this way all my life. It's not like drugs or booze where you can just stay away. You have to eat. And, once I start, it's hard for me to stop. It is my major coping mechanism. With all that's going on in the family, it's really hard for me to eat the right stuff. I guess I need to spend more time in prayer and on my face before God; I know if I can get past my fears and learned behaviors, and if I can trust in Him, I can take this weight back off. We did it together before, and we can do it again. I just need to remind myself of that.
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