Day 67

I started on my chronic migraine path 67 days ago. I've been struggling with the headaches since I was 17, so it's been almost 30 years that we've been acquainted. I never really wanted them to move into my head for good, but it seems that they have done so, uninvited as it may have been.

I've tried so many meds it makes my head spin. Most of them either don't work or give me side effects from Hades. I get dizzy spells, tingling, rashes, perceptual difficulties, hangovers, the ever-entertaining "stupid factor," nausea, chills...you name it - if it's rare, I get it.

Let's see...we've done Midrin, Relpax, Axert, Frova, Imitrex, Zomig, Lyrica, Periactin, Zonegran, Dilaudid, Demerol, and Maxalt. We've tried shots, sprays, orally disintegrating tablets, and pills.

Currently I'm taking Plavix as a stroke preventative, slowly increasing doses of Diamox (man, does that make me tingly all over!), Migravent, and, in case of bad headaches(according to whom?), a nasty little combination of DHE(dihydroxyergotamine, aka belladonna, aka nightshade), Reglan to keep it from making me sick, and caffeine to give it a jump-start. I also have oral Vicodin as a rescue drug to keep me from making the ER my second home since they like to give me Dilaudid and I end up acting like the world's biggest drug addict when that happens.

I've been off work since October 7th. I can't function as a nurse when I'm impaired (under the influence of narcotics or other funky drugs), and I can't function in pain anyhow. I've applied for disability and am wading through the reams of paperwork that requires.

I've had a CT of my sinuses - clear.

I've had an MRI of my brain and spinal cord - showed something but wasn't clear enough, so we did...

An MRA of the same, which showed a dominant anterior circulation...no aneurysm, though; that can be fixed...it would be too easy...

Now the headache clinic man wants a lumbar puncture, and trigeminal/occipital nerve block shots to my head. That is something I'm really looking forward to.

I've been to the chiropractor. My right neck and back are pretty tight, and, while the treatments help the tightness, they've done nothing for the headaches.

No easy fix...but then again, I've never been one to do things the easy way.

I've also been diagnosed with allodynia. I think it's cutaneous...it mostly involves my scalp. I feel pain where others don't. Another strange one.

I'm hoping this record of my journey will help me keep what's left of my sanity.

Maybe some day I won't need it any more.

Maybe some day I'll fly.

If wishes were horses...