struggling to keep my perspective

So the doc said this morning that because I reacted so badly to the Tegretol, and because the Diamox obviously didn't agree with me, we're back to square one, or maybe one and a half.

That was so encouraging...

Tomorrow I need to call and re-schedule the spinal tap. Apparently there was some seriously screwed-up communication between my doc and the hospital where I was scheduled to have it done and the things he wanted done, and faxed the orders for, never made it to the proper place.

Now he's talking nerve shots in the head again by an anesthesiologist and, if that fails, possibly an implant in the hypothalamus, though I'd have to go to Mayo or Italy to get that done...

Shoot.

We seem to be on a downhill run here.

I'm quite frankly getting discouraged.

I'm surprised it took this long, really. It's been over 3 months now. However, things were okay until this week when we had to shut some things off and change some things in a serious way to keep ourselves solvent, and it's starting to sink in, I think, that this isn't necessarily going to go away in any certain amount of time.

I'm trying to keep my head above water.

I'll make it...I'm just treading today, though.