day 963

Dr. P, my pain doc, offered to write a letter to the insurance company to see if she can get me approved for Provigil so I can be up in the daytime and sleep at night like I should be doing. I'm hoping it works. This upside down routine is bugging me a lot.

My psychiatrist suggested I might have narcolepsy because I have been falling asleep while sitting up, while eating or drinking coffee and the like. I will mention that to my internist when I see her this week.

I'm glad I'm on Methadone right now. I'm sure it's helping with my badly bruised tailbone. It hurts like heck even with the pain meds.

I am so tired...

ow day 687

My head has been bad for almost a week.

The pain level is once again a 7-8 even with the meds.

I'm so sensitive to light and sound even the ceiling fan about drives me crazy, but I have to have circulating air or I feel like I'm suffocating.

It's that right side intense pain again. I just can't get rid of it.

I'm almost to the point of heading to the ER and asking for drugs.

If I do that, though, it won't be the ER closest to us. They're downright rude to me there.

Besides, I don't have a way to get there. No vehicle.

Guess I tough it out.

I need to reschedule my psychiatrist's appointment. It's for 11 tomorrow and the temp is supposed to get up to 103 with a heat index about 110 and we have no A/C in the van. I'm not sure I can tolerate that heat in the pain I'm in. Maybe they can get me in next week. If not, I'll figure something out. Depending on when JR works maybe he can run me up there if I give him gas money. He wouldn't mind, I'm sure, especially if I buy him lunch, too. That's a good way to bribe a single guy...food.

Gotta discuss this with the pain doc when I see him again. The pain issue has got to be under better control.

day 552

Last night I finally dropped off to sleep after an hour and a half.

Tonight I gave up after 2 hours and got out of bed.

I made some banana muffins for breakfast.

I got hubby's lunch ready.

Now I'm sitting here at the computer wishing I was as sleepy as I am tired.

The Lexapro is doing it; I know this.
However, the thought of being without the relief from the nerve pain that this drug brings far outweighs the interruption in my sleep patterns.

No, I'm not thrilled with being up all night and sleeping all day, but it's better than not being able to sleep at all because I hurt so badly I can't lie down.

I'm hoping my psychiatrist got my letter done and out to the ALJ like he said he would by the middle of this week. It really needs to get there on time so my disability can be approved. Otherwise, we're depending on the information I took in at the time of my hearing for him to use when he determines if I'm eligible or not and it may not be enough.

While I am strong when it comes to persistence and perseverance, patience has never been one of my strong suits.

At least I know that.

day 547

I saw the psychiatrist today.

He was rather surprised that I had been willing to try Lexapro after the Celexa fisaco...he said most people will refuse. I told him that as bad as I was feeling I was ready to try anything. He was also pleased that hubby's insurance covers most of the cost of the drug as many insurance companies won't. He gave me a prescription for 2 more month's worth and I don't have to see him again till June.

I gave him the SSDI guidelines for psych disorders and asked him to write a letter for the judge showing him how I fit the criteria for disability. He said he'd do it and get it to the judge by the 16th as requested. I really like this guy. He seems nice and genuine and willing to help me in any way he can.

I got a migraine while I was in the waiting room so hubby had to drive home.

After we got home I slept like a log for almost 3 hours. I was exhausted. Now I need to go cover the peonies and azaleas again so they don't freeze overnight.

It seems like things might be falling into place...what a good feeling.