Monday, July 14, 2008


Some days I am sad because of my illness. It's not anger or resentment, but it is sadness because I am missing so many things that I used to enjoy.

My older daughter enjoys playing outside in the kiddie pool with the boys. I can't do that. I am too sensitive to light to tolerate time outside except when necessary. They even go to the city pool once in a while in the summer. I wouldn't tolerate that either. I remember how much I used to enjoy watching my kids in the pool and playing in the water with them and to be missing that with the boys saddens me.

I miss family get-togethers. Barbecues, holiday celebrations...they all have to be observed differently now than they used to be.

I used to really enjoy cleaning my house and seeing it dust-free and smelling the Pine-Sol in the kitchen. Now I have to split up cleaning chores and it's not quite the same.

It's funny the things we miss when life changes.

Monday, July 07, 2008

not necessarily unexpected

My appeal for the Provigil prescription was denied. The insurance company will not approve it for use to counteract other meds that cause fatigue regardless of allergies or any other reasoning.

Oh well.

It seems sometimes that my life just wants to head in that direction no matter what I do.

However, I am still alive, and still able to love and be loved, and I can still dress myself and go to the bathroom and brush my teeth, and life could be a lot worse, so I will fuss a little and then I will move on.

It's the only reasonable thing to do.

In a life this out of sync, someone needs to be reasonable. I guess I'm it.