Thursday, August 30, 2007

day 705

Lord. My head is killing me again. The pain level is still high and nothing I do lowers it for more than a couple of hours. Now the sleeplessness is back, too.

I don't know how people who hurt more than this make it. It about drives me bats.

My concentration is affected. I'm concerned that if they don't get my pain under better control I'm going to have to hand over my car keys and stop driving. I'm worried about getting in an accident because I have trouble focusing and paying attention at times.

I can't believe that they say I should be able to work like this. I know we have a review in March already so I'm writing everything down. This way I have documentation. Maybe I should leave the spelling errors in as well, only my OCD won't let me. I'm fighting horribly with the keyboard tonight. I can't seem to get my fingers on the right keys no matter what I do. Thank goodness for spellcheck.

I can't stay online long anyhow...the screen light hurts my eyes.

All for the best, I suppose...

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

another migraine - day 695

had to take Maxalt again today. is it all starting over?

Sunday, August 19, 2007

day 692

Well, it was bound to happen.

The pain got to an 8-9 and stayed there. I took Maxalt. I took E.S. acetaminophen. I laid down. I tried to sleep. Nothing...nothing....nothing...

So I woke hubby up and we headed to an ER much further from our home but one that I was fairly confident would treat me like a person and hopefully give me what I needed to break the cycle.

They were kinda slow, but that's because they were busy. They're starting up with another new computer system, this one for charting, and it takes time. Add to this my massive list of meds and allergies and diagnoses and it just takes time.

They were gonna hook me up to the heart monitor - everybody gets that - until I reminded the tech I'm allergic to adhesive. He hadn't looked at my bracelet, obviously.

Blood pressure was like 144/90. Pulse was a little high.

They put me in a back room, quiet and far from the desk. They didn't holler in the room, and the doctor was even quiet and very kind. He asked me what was up, and what we had found to be effective when this had happened in the past. I told him, and he said, "Okay. We'll get it for you."

I was almost shocked. No arguing, no counseling, no negativity at all.

The nurse, amazingly enough, asked me if I was allergic to either Dilaudid or Phenergan after looking at my sensitivity/allergy list to make sure I wasn't sensitive to either one before she gave the meds.

So into my butt went 2 shots...2mg Dilaudid, and 50mg Phenergan. They aren't compatible so it has to be 2 shots. By then I didn't care. I just wanted to stop hurting.

10 minutes later I still hurt, but I didn't care so much.

It was another 10 minutes or so and they sent us home.

No hassles, no grief, no implying that I was drug-seeking or that the problem was all in my head...just the shot, and the paperwork, and discharge instructions, and I was on my way.

I am writing a letter to the hospital and a thank you card to the nurse. I was treated with dignity and respect and kindness and I needed that today. It has started to restore my faith in the system.

Now I'm going to bed.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

day 691

Still far too much pain.

Still no relief.

Got hold of the doc's office; they hadn't sent the script for the Methadone out yet...and hadn't done anything about the Maxalt, either. They called the Maxalt in and put the Methadone script in the mail yesterday. Guess it was overlooked. Kinda interesting considering the calls were made on two different days 5 days apart. Someone isn't doing their job.

May have to go to the ER if this doesn't stop.

I hate that thought.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

day 689

I called on Monday for my Methadone refill and it still isn't here.

I called last week for a Maxalt refill and it isn't here, either.

I'm getting upset.

I hurt so bad I could scream. What can I take? Nothing. It totally sucks.

I hate this.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

ow day 687

My head has been bad for almost a week.

The pain level is once again a 7-8 even with the meds.

I'm so sensitive to light and sound even the ceiling fan about drives me crazy, but I have to have circulating air or I feel like I'm suffocating.

It's that right side intense pain again. I just can't get rid of it.

I'm almost to the point of heading to the ER and asking for drugs.

If I do that, though, it won't be the ER closest to us. They're downright rude to me there.

Besides, I don't have a way to get there. No vehicle.

Guess I tough it out.

I need to reschedule my psychiatrist's appointment. It's for 11 tomorrow and the temp is supposed to get up to 103 with a heat index about 110 and we have no A/C in the van. I'm not sure I can tolerate that heat in the pain I'm in. Maybe they can get me in next week. If not, I'll figure something out. Depending on when JR works maybe he can run me up there if I give him gas money. He wouldn't mind, I'm sure, especially if I buy him lunch, too. That's a good way to bribe a single

Gotta discuss this with the pain doc when I see him again. The pain issue has got to be under better control.

Friday, August 10, 2007


My pain level and meds and everything are all whacked and spazzed out because Kenny has been sick. I've been taking tylenol with every dose of Methadone for almost 3 weeks to keep going and do what has to be done.

I'm glad the poor kid is out of the hospital now. Things in my daughter's familly will get back to almost normal and I can catch up on my rest. Being tired makes the pain worse.

This weather sucks,'s not helping my head one little bit.