Friday, April 22, 2011

Hanging in there - day 2022

Sometimes it just seems like the same drudgery day after day after day.

I still can't sleep in our bed more than an hour or two. I stop breathing and that's just not a good thing. I doubt I've slept in bed more than three times in the last year. I know if I lost some weight I'd be better off, but the stress here has been so incredibly high I've been eating to compensate, which is a learned behavior and coping mechanism, so I've not managed to lose anything lately.

I stopped riding my exercise bike for a while when I was feeling really non-motivated but I started up again so I'm hoping to get back into the groove with that. It makes me feel better and I don't get that couch potato sensation as much as when I'm just hanging out watching TV and web-surfing.

I'm glad it's coming up on spring. This was a bad winter for depression symptoms. I don't sleep in bed but when I sit down for more than a few minutes I doze off, whether here in my recliner or on the couch or even, this year for the first time, at the sewing machine. That was kinda weird.

I am so glad God is in my life. He is my strength, my all-sufficiency, my All in All, my healer and deliverer. I will look to Him and not to the physical manifestations. I will focus on His grace and mercy and not on my own human shortcomings.

I would be lost without Him. I am grateful for the Cross and redemption and the resurrection power of Jesus Christ. Without the Blood, I would have no hope. I hope you can find this too.

1 comment:

WinnyNinny PooPoo said...

I certainly understand the falling asleep at the drop of a hat!!!! Please be careful at the sewing machine - don't want you to zigzag your hair to your ear!!!

Maybe the spring sunshine will come and perk you up. I have a room painted sunny yellow because of the winter blues....