Monday, February 19, 2007

day 501

I never thought I'd hit this day...but here I am.

The headache faded by the end of Saturday and by Sunday morning it was back to the level it had been when I first started the 25 mg pills of Zoloft. In fact, I felt good enough to go to the mall yesterday for the first time in months. We didn't stay long...just over an hour, I think...but it was nice to get out.

The insomnia remains a companion even though the new pain is fading fast. This is the 4th night in a row I've watched the clock change hours instead of sleeping, so tonight I decided the heck with it and just got up. I'm nursing a large mug of hot chocolate, sitting here in my flannel jammies and a fleece robe while the house warms back up. We turn the heat down at night - why bother heating a space nobody is up in?

I see the neurologist next Tuesday and the psychiatrist that same Friday. That means 2 doctor's appointments in one week. Yippee. I need to see my neurologist to let him know what's going on with the pain medicine issue and how we're making progress in that arena, and to let him know I'm seeing the psychiatrist now, and to ask him for a letter for the lawyer that tells them I am totally disabled and unable to work.

Once I get that letter, maybe the lawyers will actually contact me and we can light a fire under this disability thing. It would be nice to get some of the money I paid into the system for an eventuality of this type. They surely didn't ask if I wanted to pay it...I shouldn't have to get on my knees and beg to get it when I need it. It's ludicrous what you have to go through to get back what you've paid in when you get sick and cannot work. I would gladly trade places with the person who tells me I can still work...even for just a week, to let them live in the pain I'm in. to juggle doctors and deal with bill collectors and keep track of pain meds and other meds and try to manage in a world that cares little for people who cannot tolerate light, sound, and smells well. It's a tough place to be when you're ill, especially if it is an unseen illness that interrupts your life.

Hopefully soon the insomnia will go away and I can go to bed at night and sleep till morning again. That would be nice.

1 comment:

RusticateGirl said...

There is no reason you shouldn't qualify for disability.

My uncle has a HUGE file of medical records on my aunt. They have gone through the process, and she would qualify, they have found out. The question is whether she will ever quit work. She flounders all the time. I think it keeps her going, in some way. But in other ways it's just yet another stress for her. She is so divided on the issue.

Best of luck. Don't let anyone tell you that you don't qualify!