day 757 - nervous

I see the new doc today.

Beth, my online friend, says she's a good doctor. I just hope she doesn't look at my list of meds and allergies and diagnoses and toss her hands up in the air. I don't need that right now.

I'd like to be treated like a real person with real pain instead of a nutcase. I'd like adequate pain relief. I'd like to trust my doctor not to think what I'm going through is all in my head, though indeed that is where most of the pain is. It's there, but it is not psychological in origin. The psych issues were there a long, long time before the pain showed up.

I'm still trying to decide if I want to drive or if I want to put gas in the van and let Abby drive. She's so far along it might not be a good idea. I guess I'll have to see how I feel when it's time to leave in just over an hour.

I was going to try to nap but that's not going to happen. I can't relax enough.

It'll be over soon and I'll know how she is. I hope it goes well.