Monday, August 25, 2008

I just realized

I'm going into my 4th year with this wonderful disability.

I know a lot more about it than I did, which is still pitifully little.

That is because there is pitifully little to be known.

Without the Provigil, the sleep issues are still right up front. I'm going to try to go to bed here soon and see if I can get some sleep. I have been at least making the attempt several nights a week. The thing is, I've been picking a lot now too and that doesn't necessarily help. If I can't sleep and I go to bed, I tend to lie there and pick. My skin is a mess. It's from little bug bites and cat bites and scratches and goodness knows what.

I see the psychiatrist on Wednesday. I had to reschedule last month because of a honker headache. Oh, they're always fun.

The more stress I'm under, the worse the symptoms of the OCD and borderline personality disorder are, and they're not the best right now. Picking, obsessing, procrastinating, self-degradation...That reminds me. In a minute I need to look something up.

The situation with Becky is still bad. The other two and I are getting along, but not necessarily all that well with each other.

It's hard to believe I've been in the midst of this for 3 years now. I didn't think I could handle it before. I guess I proved myself wrong.

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