more and less

The Methadone is doing pretty well. I'm under decent pain control with the exception of my left arm. I'm not sleeping well, or at least not more than a couple hours at a time, but I'm making it.

I've been sewing things in preparation for the new granddaughter due next month. I'm workin on her diapers now. Her parents decided to give cloth diapers a try; I'm making the infant size first so if they decide to go with disposables I haven't used as much fabric as I would if I made the full set of older baby diapers. I'm also making myself a new dress. It's a lot like my other dresses but the neckline is less likely to leave me flashing than the other one. My bosom is smaller than some, and the lower necklines have far too much fabric for my needs. I'm hoping this one is more to my liking.

I've been having pain in my right forearm and upper arm for over 2 months now. I went to the doctor and found out that I have a neuroma on the nerve that ennervates my left arm, and the growth is right by my left pinkie. It makes my whole arm hurt, sometimes when I'm just sitting still and doing nothing. Apparently the tumor has been getting bigger and bigger slowly and now it's big enough to cause more pain than I can tolerate on a daily basis, even with the meds I'm on. So anyhow, I see a hand surgeon on May 23 to arrange to get the growth removed. This is definitely not high on my list of things to look forward to, but it needs to be done, and I'll get it done. It's going to make dishes and chicken chores interesting for a while, but at least maybe I'll feel better.
I made a sleeve cover for my left arm so that I can stop picking on it. If the sores heal up all the way that will lower my risk of infection when I have the surgery. It's hard to explain, even to my internest/primary doc, that a compulsion is just that - a compulsion. I can't just decide NOT to do it because I know I shouldn't. She suggested hypnotism and seemed a bit upset when I told her I don't do that. I believe it's opening a door to the demonic and I don't want to take that chance. She didn't seem to understand. She's of the opinion that it can help people. I don't believe that it's an option for me and I'd rather not go that way, whether or not she is happy with it.

When my hubby was laid off in February, I was approved for Prescription Assistance for my Lexapro. It saved an awful lot of money since Lexapro is just shy of $150 a month without insurance. Since hubby is back at work, we won't need the assistance any more, so I will tell my psychiatrist to cancel the prescription assistance and let someone else have it who needs it. There's no sense in using it if we don't need it.

I spoke with a cousin last night. She has nerve issues as well in the same arm as mine. I'm wondering if it's genetic. That might explain the headaches and all. It could very well be.

Other than that, life is status quo. The pain is here every day, and I take my medicines like I should, and pray for the courage and strength to go on and to be strong and to be thankful for a loving family and good insurance and all the blessings I've been given. It could be a lot worse.

I guess that's all for now.