day 713 - my visit with the shrink

He looks at me and says..."You look pale. You okay?"

I'm like, "Um, no. I feel like crap and have for almost 2 months. I'm picking at my sores almost non-stop and eating like a horse and I can't sleep unless I need to stay awake. I hurt."

He said, "I thought so. You don't look so good."

We're increasing the Xanax so I take .25mg in the daytime and .5mg at night. I had just been taking the nighttime dose.

The Lexapro taken 20 mg in one shot gave me newer, bigger headaches, so we're trying in 10 mg in the morning and 10 at about 2pm. I told him after 3 days on the couch in misery I cut the things in half and only took 10 and he didn't have a problem with it but he's hoping if I can tolerate the increased dosage it will help with the compulsive behavior.

I think, because I told him I was worried about the pain doc telling me he wouldn't increase my Methadone dose and how I was hurting, he's gonna call them and put in a word for me. He asked for the name again. He's the doc that wrote the nuts letter that got my disability approved.

Once in a while we come across a doctor worth his pay and this is one of them. He's never doubted or questioned the validity of my complaints and he listens to me.

In spite of still feeling like poop, I am glad I went today. I needed a little boost of confidence.

By the way, the broccoli cheese soup at Ruby Tuesday's is nasty.