status quo

I did finally make the appointment with my PCP. I see her for my Well Woman physical next Thursday. I'm frustrated because of the weight I've put back on though I know a lot of it is either the disability preventing me from exercising or the meds which actually have weight gain listed as a side effect...still, I'm upset about it. I guess I need to get over it.

I got a piece of paper yesterday from the insurance company - a release authorizing my pain doc to participate in the appeal for the Provigil on my behalf. This is gonna take half of forever. Anyhow, I filled it out and sent it back. We'll see what happens. I figure I don't have anything to lose. I don't have it now and if they don't authorize it I still won't have it...all I can do is gain.

My laptop is helping me out a lot because now I can check my email and such without ending up with mammoth-sized feet from the swelling. It's funny how the Methadone causes that. It's not something I would have even thought of with a pain med. The trade-off is worth it, though. I'd rather have fat feet than be in more pain.

When I think of where I was 3 1/2 years ago and where I am now it's staggering. My life has changed so much...there is so much I can't do that I used to take for granted...things that never meant much are so precious to me now. I cherish every good minute now because I don't know when the pain of a migraine or exacerbation will happen.

I treasure my blessings even in the middle of the pain.