thinning out my schedule

I keep having to cancel things thanks to my stupid headaches. I've had to call my mom 3 or 4 times now and tell her it's not a good time for her to come visit. I can't handle having someone in the house all the time when my head hurts. Hubby, yes; but nobody else. He's quiet and supportive and considerate and doesn't do anything unnecessary, and fortunately we see the same things as being necessary. My mom, by virtue of her age and her own routines, does things more noisily than we do, and in a different time frame.

Next week I go see the pain management docs. I have 2 appointments back to back. They are supposed to send me some paperwork to fill out ahead of time. I'm hoping it's at the post office tomorrow when I go to check the mail. I also need to send off a few things while I'm there.

I'm hoping they can find a way to help me control this pain without gorking me out. I'd like to help out my daughter by watching the boys when her schedule overlaps her husband's since they charge a small fortune for day care these days even if you only need someone for a few hours...and I can understand the caregivers need a steady income, but for a couple living pretty much hand to mouth already, $125 a week for part-time care is insane. If I can function on the meds, I'm going to watch the kids even if she has to bring them here. I'm holding to that thought.

My head still hurts from my interaction with the rake today. Still, all in all, it felt good to do some yard work and see some concrete results from it. I know the plants are happier, and they'll grow better with all those leaves cleaned out from around them. I knew it was going to give me a worsening headache. I chose to do it anyhow. I can't stay in the house my whole life. It would kill me.

I'm thanking God for the Vicodin right now...it at least gets the pain back to a tolerable level on most of the bad days.

Less meds

I weaned myself most of the way off the Neurontin. I'm down to 1 a day for the next 4 days and then I'll be off it. I stopped the Indomehacin. Neither of them were helping, anyhow. I haven't noticed a bit of difference since I stopped taking them.

I go to the St. Louis Behavioral Med clinic on the 6th. I hope they can do something for this pain.

My mom was supposed to come this week but with my head the way it is I can't trust myself to go to the airport so hubby called and cancelled for me.

I'm so tired of the pain...

I feel stupid

The combination of Neurontin and Indomethacin has me feeling like an idiot. I can't concentrate and I have a hard time thinking of words. I'm not happy with this at all.

To top it off, all I want to do is sleep.

I'm going to give it a few days and if things don't get better I'll be back on the phone with the doctor. I can't do this.

It doesn't help that the meds aren't helping...if I felt better, I could tolerate the dummy factor. It's not in my plans to feel like crap and also like a moron. If I'm gonna hurt, I might as well hurt with a clear head.

This sucks.

No help there

The neurologist told me today he thinks the DHE will "cure" my headaches. He gave me a sample of Migranol spray and told me to try it. I did. It didn't do a thing for me.

He wants to try it IV, too. I'm not sure...if the capsule doesn't help, and the spray doesn't help, why keep trying? I'm frustrated.

I went to the regular doc. I have another sinus infection. I got Amoxil for that, and Diflucan for the nasties the antibiotic gives me. Maybe the sinus thing will clear up soon and that part of my 4-part headache will stop.

Friday we go to the city to get the Indomethacin suppositories. I don't know why they can't take my insurance information over the phone...that ticks me off, too.

Just another day in paradise...

changing plans again

I was going to go to Michael's today with my youngest daughter and get some plastic so hubby could cut out the templates for the quilt block he designed for me.

She came over nice and early and we spent some time together.

About 9 o'clock I had to shut the shades and my eyes. It became apparent that the shopping trip was going to have to bite the dust for today at least.

My ears are ringing; the back of my head hurts and feels tight; the right side of my head hurts; my face hurts.

I took half an extra-strength Vicodin about an hour ago and just went back for the other half.

I hate days like this.

I know that some time in the past I had days without pain, but I can't remember what it felt like.

Tomorrow I see the doc again. We'll see what he has to say. Apparently the Neurontin isn't doing the trick.

I think I need drugs

We have this clock in the living room that chimes on the hour. This time, when it chimed, it was like it was chiming inside my head. It must be about Vicodin time.

I need to think of something to make for dinner so hubby can have leftover lunch tomorrow but I can't say I honestly care at this moment in time what he eats tomorrow. I'll come up with something, though. I don't know what...

I see the neurologist on Wednesday. I wonder what he'll say about the Neurontin.

I can't think of anything profound to say and I'm darn glad for spellcheck today because my fingers and my brain aren't connecting very well right now. Maybe another nap is in order.

I wish I was on the drugs they're taking...

"We are writing about your claim for SS disability benefits. Based on a review of your health problems you do not qualify for benefits on this claim. This is because you are not disabled under our rules...We have determined that your condition is not severe enough to keep you from working. We considered the medical and other information, your age, education, training, and work experience in determining how your condition affects your ability to work...The medical evidence shows that you are impaired, and that your activities are restricted by your condition. In spite of these restrictions, the medical evidence shows you are able to do your past work as an RN."

Okay.

Whatever.

No change so far

I've been on the Neurontin for almost 5 days now and have noticed nothing different. Part of it might be the virus I'm fighting, or whatever, but I've noticed no decrease in the frequency of the headaches or the severity of them, and the ringing in my ears is now at a constantly high level and extremely irritating. I am tired more, though, which is to be expected.

Tonight I up the dose to 300 mg TID. We'll have to see how that goes. I'm hoping I'll still be able to drive and such, but I won't plan on it because I know this drug can make you way drowsy and dizzy.

I'm hoping the virus goes away soon. I'd like to be able to breathe again and to see just how bad the dry mouth is without having to include the additional mouth-breathing from the congestion I've got going on.

Maybe today when I check the mail the Indomethacin suppositories will be there. I'm still waiting 3 more days before I start them so that if I have any weird side effects from the increased dosage of Neurontin I'll know what did it.

I lead such a thrilling life these days...

an owie kind of day

My head hurts. What a surprise, huh?

I started the Neurontin on Friday night. It did make me a little dizzy and still does about an hour or so after I take it, but it's not too bad. I'm not sure how it's gonna be when I up the dosage on Tuesday, but we'll deal with that when we get there.

Last night I had to take DHE and Vicodin and again this afternoon I took Vicodin. I don't like taking those meds but I get to the point where I can't stand it any more and I have to do something. At least it brings the pain down to a manageable level.

I think I have a sinus infection. I'm going to make a doctor's appointment tomorrow, probably for Tuesday because DD#1 has 3 sick kids and her hubby has to use her car this week so she has no way to get them to the doctor, so I offered to take her. I remember not having a car with 3 kids. It's no fun, and at least I lived in the city on a bus route; they're out in the sticks and no buses go out there. She's been sick this week, too, with a sinus infection/bronchitis/flu thing and a wonderful yeast infection that's not getting better with the 3-day treatment.

After I increase the Neurontin on Tuesday and wait three days I'll start the Indomethacin if it's here yet. I have to be careful not to start too many things at once so I can monitor for side effects. That way I know I'm reacting to this drug or that drug, not reacting to one of the two of them.

The blinds are shut now and hubby taped a piece of paper over the door window so the sun isn't pouring in there. My photosensitivity keeps getting worse and worse. Pretty soon I'm going to have to get those wraparound sunglasses to keep myself protected and stave off headaches triggered by the light.

What a thrilling life I lead.

New meds tonight

I'm starting the Neurontin tonight. I have to watch for nasty side effects. I've asked my family to help me watch for them because I might not notice them with "the stupid factor" in full swing. I need to stay out of the driver's seat for a few days or until I know how it's going to affect my concentration and ability to respond quickly.

Basically, if it works, I don't care if I can drive or not. I'd just like to be pain-free. I have enough family members close to me that I can get what I need without driving myself around, though it would certainly cramp my lifestyle, not that the disease process hasn't already done that.

I hope it works.