Tuesday, December 18, 2007

let me describe this while I can

It's as if someone took a chisel, one of the shorter ones like men keep in a tool box, and flattened the end so it's about as big around as a dime but about 1/2 inch thick; then they took that chisel apparatus, put it on the right side of my face between the far end of my eyebrow and where my hair begins, and tapped on the chisel just hard enough to hurt. Over and over and over and over and over and over and over. For hours and hours.

I can't even stand the lights on the Christmas tree. I had to shut it off. The TV is off.

The tinnitus is loud again, louder than usual.

I just want to close my eyes and sleep away the pain. The problem is, it's always there when I wake up. There's also the issue of the pain that laying on my back aggravates lately with the occipital neuralgia acts up.

I need to be working on Christmas gifts but I can't stand the light or the sound of the machine. I feel horrid. I promised the kids their quilts this year and it looks like that won't be happening again unless I machine quilt them, which I really didn't want to do. If I did, though, I could have them done on time.

I just wish I could have something to take the edge off on days like this, since they turn into weeks more often than not, and with Christmas coming next week that isn't a good thing...

...but what does the pain care?

1 comment:

Charly Girl said...

I stumbled upon this blog tonight while I was in pain (darn that occipital dystonia). I just wanted to let you know that you are amazing. You put up with so much everyday. While I can only imagine the level of pain that you experience, I know that being in pain everyday is awful. Hang in there, and keep writing. It gave me great strength to read your blog.