Monday, January 23, 2006

Things have changed

Things I used to do that I can't do any more:

Turn up the TV or stereo until it won't go any higher
Run all over creation looking for nothing in particular
Go to church
Go to any place that's too loud or too busy
Spend much time with family other than hubby
Go to showers, birthday parties, holiday celebrations

Things I spend a lot more time doing:

Listening to the ever-increasing volume of ringing in my ears
Worrying about finances
Worrying about what is going on inside my head
Wondering if life will ever be like it used to be
Apologizing for having to cancel plans, trips, holiday celebrations
Staying at home in my sweats
Feeling antisocial

I'm supposed to go for the spinal tap tomorrow morning. I'm coming down with a bad cold and cough so I don't know if I should reschedule it again or not. It might be hard lying still if I'm coughing up a lung. The increased pressure in my head does wonders for how I'm feeling and what I can tolerate, of course.

Sleep...I want to sleep...maybe I'll wake up and find this has all been a bad dream.

1 comment:

Cyn said...

I so wish you could take CoQ10. So much evidence now that it's neuro-protective. I know that malabsorprtion is aproblem, but they do make a "Q-Sorb" formula, so I hope you can check it out and maybe actually take it.