Wednesday, July 26, 2006

frustrated

I'm fighting again with my neurologist. He seems to think it's illogical to prescribe more than 30 Vicodin at a time, which means in 10 days I'll be playing the "I need a refill" game again. It's pure torture to orchestrate getting my meds refilled. I have to call the pharmacy, wait for them to fax the doc, usually twice because they tell me over and over they never got the first fax, then wait till they get good and ready to fax the order back. Why can't I just get my meds when I need them, in a quantity sufficient to meet my needs? Geeze...it's not like I'm abusing them. Using 2 or 2 1/2 Vicodin a day is not indicative of addiction. I'd like them all to feel what I feel for a while and get an idea why I need this medication. Instead, I get to feel it, and fight with them to get what I need.

It's been a bad couple days. My pain level is higher and I just flat hurt. I am really getting tired of this. All I (let me rephrase this) feel up to doing is sleeping. All I want to do is not hurt. I get up, take a pill, drink something, crash back on the couch, cover my eyes to keep the light out, and pray for relief till it's time to take another pill. What an exciting existence!

I'd cry if it didn't make my head hurt more than it already does.

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