I'm just irritated right now.
It's not right that I should have to go searching for a doctor who is willing to help me get these headaches under control.
It's not right that I am being looked at as someone engaging in drug-seeking behavior because I hurt 24/7 and want some relief.
I'm not looking to get stoned or high.
I just want to be able to sleep and not wake up feeling like I haven't been to bed yet.
I'd like to be able to go outside and not have to cover my eyes all the time because the light from the sun hurts.
I'd like a doctor to look at me and see me, a person, a responsible adult in pain, and not some junkie searching for a fix.
I am so ticked off right now I could scream.
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I've been here on earth for just over half a century. For the last several years, I've had a chronic pain condition as my constant companion. I've learned to value each and every day simply because it is there; to love and appreciate my family and friends; to enjoy life and love no matter the restrictions on my time or activity; and, most importantly, to love and worship God in any way I can regardless of my limitations.
About Me
- Trisha
- Simpleadditions on Etsy
The older I get, the more I lean on God. He is my all in all and from Him I get the strength to go on from day to day. Currently He has allowed me to be afflicted with a nerve-based disability that has taken me out of the mainstream workplace and changed the way I live my life; in this, I see more and more how dependent I am on Him for every moment of every day. Without Him, I am nothing. With Him, I can do all things.
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"For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome. Then you will call upon Me, and you will come and pray to Me, and I will hear and heed you. Then you will seek Me, inquire for, and require Me [as a vital necessity] and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you, says the Lord, and I will release you from captivity and gather you from all the nations and all the places to which I have driven you, says the Lord, and I will bring you back to the place from which I caused you to be carried away captive." Jeremiah 29:11-14, Amplified Bible
1 comment:
I saw your comment on my blog; I don't have much time to browse much through your blog at this point, but from what I can see - wow - your situation seems very much like my aunt's. The ONLY relief she gets from her headaches (which are more debilitating than the AFP on some level) is from a drug called Amerge. She has to "ration" it as they will not give her a month's supply due to the volatility of the drug (I think she is up to 18 a month or something like that). Or she gets relief from the IV drip when she occassionally has to go to the ER, which I think is liquid morphine. Just thought I'd share.
You're right. You shouldn't have to prove yourself to the medical world that you are not trying to score drugs, or defend yourself.
I do believe that with the birth of the internet and consequently a more clear understanding that TN and AFP are not such rare conditions afterall, that more research $$ will be generated to find substantial results to help people like yourself, hopefully within the next 5 years or so, or at least some dramatic improvements in the understanding and treatment of the condition.
Hang in there. If I could take the pain away, I would.
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