midweek

2 days till I see the neurologist again.

2 days till I start on Methadone.

I hope it works.

I'd like to be able to work, even if I can't work as a nurse. I don't care. I'd just like to not hurt all day, every day.

I'd like to be able to open my blinds again and leave them open all day if I want to.

I'd like to be able to visit with my kids, fly to Florida and see my grandbabies there, and visit my mom and siblings.

I'd like to celebrate Christmas with a nice dinner and presents.

I'd like to be able to go to church.

I'd like to have my life back, even if it has to be modified.

I'd be more than willing to retrain for another career if the disability people wanted me to, if I can get to where I can work. I know as a nurse I can't work if I'm on narcotics. It's against the law. There are other jobs I could get, though, where I can work in spite of the pain meds. Other people do it.

If I could get financial assistance for school, I'd love to go back and become a certified interpreter for the deaf. I've always had a fascination with sign language. I think it's phenomenal that the entire language developed the way it did. I know some of the basics but I'd like to become fluent and be able to interpret for people who need that intervention.

Maybe some day I'll realize that dream.